Good noon…

i always feel that i am poor at communicating to people..because people always find hard to understand what i want to convey and i get emotional why people dont undrstand me..

i tried doing the meditation even today morning..i never felt chatter in mind and brain but several thoughts pass through, it can something related to what i watched in tv, something read in books, something that happened at office or else i create fantasy of what i like. But to my surprise, these thoughts also pass through as well as i am able to count with less mistake..how come

second thing most of the people say, including u guys..that we should act or behave as others want..but today till this moment i spoke to my aunt in nice way…might be i was acting…if i had tobe like i am then i had to show the dullness, but i controlled my feelings.. should i continue like this..?

my mother says that i should engage myself in activities and try to mingle more with people?

third..i cant lift up my mood bcoz when i see my parents face, there are always dulll bcoz of my behaviour and second i am not yet settledwith my marriage till this age..people always ask them about my marriage..when i see their i also become dull and upset. i have said them several time o be happy and pleasant

One more thing…i dont know being a girl whether i should say or not…one of my biggest sadness is that i am just 47kg but have big breast (38)… and they are heavy, i cant sit straight, after sometime my back get tired and my shoulder starts falling..even while meditating.. i cant sit straight for long.. from my school days onwards, people make fun of me bcoz i am small and lean with a good figure, butmy breasts are so big, as if only they are visible, i cant even take part in sport and wear dress of my choice.i have an inferiority complex related to that..my back and shoulder pains