Hi Steve,

I went through several very rough years like you. I have my career back. I am on good terms with my ex-wife.

– See a counselor or psychologist
– Discuss your situation only with them and maybe one or two others only
– Eat really well
– Get 7-9 hours of sleep
– Exercise hard doing what is fun and challenging
– Try to have your ex see the boys.
– Be supportive about her as their mom when around the boys shes their mom
– She is not dead don’t even use that word
– Avoid reminders is a good idea
– Be civil with her
– Don’t text email or otherwise message except briefly about seeing the boys or other essential things
– Realize your worth is not determined by a relationship or a job
– Figure out what positive things you can do.
– Forgive yourself
– Forgive her. I know just do it
– Become free as a person rather than a victim
– Reframe this as a learning experience
– Challenge yourself
– Be very aware and open going into relationships when ready. Talk with the counselor.
– Don’t take your baggage on dates. Ever. Don’t talk poorly about her.
– If a date or relationship goes poorly ok no worries. Try but don’t let it hurt your worth of self. Just say it was not a match.
– See the world with fresh eyes

What do you think?

Big blue

• This reply was modified 10 years, 4 months ago by Big blue.