Hello Luna,

Whilst exactly that scenario hasn’t happened to me, I can understand how it must feel right now. Cliche or not, it still hurts.

In the past I’ve ended up in situations where I’ve become the shoulder to lean on and a psychiatrist for some men. Always there to understand and listen, but didn’t get the attention I would’ve wanted as a woman. That said, I kind of put myself in those situations and invited such treatment, but that’s another story. In any case, as I allowed that to happen, I let myself know that my needs do not matter that much and that I should always be there for other people. That’s a great source for bitterness in the long run. I felt used, unloved, unwanted… I could’ve changed it all myself.

He telling you that he can not cope without you is kind of emotional blackmail. It is not your job to hold him together. Being supportive doesn’t mean being the only support that holds everything together. Besides, you need support and understanding right now as well. Be straightforward about that. You are a human being and it hurts when we get rejected, no matter what the reason and even if it would’ve been the right action to take. Don’t distance yourself out of revenge, but you might want to distance yourself, at least for a while, to heal your emotional wounds.

It might do good for both of you to be more involved with other people as well for a while. Spread your attention a bit more. Being so involved with someone in such fashion can lead, and seems to have already led, to dependency and obsession. When you spread your attention, you become more balanced and can put things in perspective.

Also, based on my experience, such dependency is a real romance killer, so from that perspective, he is right about it not working as a romantic relationship.

Attend to your needs and remember: nothing is forever. Life is dynamic and things change 🙂