We are talking more and more each day! Which Helps tremendously she is letting me read her texts and chats now but it still hurts tremendously. She is not putting me down anymore in the text that she lets me read. So I am willing to work with her because I just want her to be Happy. She and the kids are the best part of me without them i am Nothing. I have become clingy i don’t want to go to work or sleep because i am afraid i will miss something. When i am alone i can’t get these thoughts out of my head that she would be better off if I was dead, I just couldn’t do that to my kids but I am not being a pillar for them with me this way I am a mess, cry uncontrollably at times just don’t understand why my love is not enough when it is my whole life and soul. She says she wants this to work, and she may not like the lifestyle but she wants to live it and try it. Still overwhelmed and confused, I just want my old Wife back. My oldest just turned 13 last month so I am not sure if this was a trigger or what but I hope she realizes what she is doing before the damage is irreversible. My Family is my everything and this hurts so bad.