Maureen, I’m experiencing the exact same problem with you. All of my relationship, i’ve been the dumpee. It makes me wonder my self worth too and i desperately want to be in a safe and loving relationship that when i had one, i couldn’t see it. The fear was too intense and suffocating. I decided that it’s about time i face my fear once and for all. I’m tired of running away and hoping for another “perfect” partner to fix me.

It’s really tough, you will fall and you will have to force yourself back up again. Every time i ache, i will put a hand on my heart and just talk to myself like how i will comfort a friend. I’ll keep telling myself that i love myself, and accept my good and bad, acknowledge that i’m hurting and it’s okay to feel hurt. I will still be here for myself. Seeing my inner self as a another person living inside helps me on my bad moments.

The hard truth that i learned is that no one can truly understand how you feel or offer the support we need and be there for us. The only person that will, is ourselves. So we might as well learn how.

I’m currently reading: http://www.amazon.com/Self-Esteem-Cognitive-Techniques-Assessing-Maintaining/dp/1572241985
maybe you can try that book.

Sending love and prayer to you, hope one day we can finally be at ease with ourselves and hopefully a great life partner. If you need someone to talk or vent, i’m here for you. Let’s get through this together.