The Ruminant

My ex had a way of making me feel guilty, I guess most of us has been thru some of this game, it was about time I woke up and see this sort of relationship for what it is, out of 5 yrs I’ve known him, we must have probably spent just 2 yrs together, the rest was him leaving and staying at his mums or I,don’t know where.
He has drained me completely, he knows that he has lots of support and a big family, whereas I do not,have anyone for support as I moved country to be with him. Luckily I manage to set up a great business on my own working in a natural environment, he was not very supportive of what I’m doing even though I bring more at home for us to live a comfortable life. He was never appreciative. Would never compliment me on any of my achievements.
I guess I have learnt my lessons, by the grace I’m still able to pick up myself and sort out my life, I know I will emerge a stronger person cause I have learnt a lot in these 5 yrs, I’ve known loneliness, sadness, pain, guilt, feeling ashame, blame, u name it I have been there. At times I forgot how it feels to have feelings, I felt numb, it’s hard to explain, It will take time for me to heal and to trust again. One thing I’m sure, I will find the person I use to be 5 yrs ago.