Thank you Ayesha for responding and understanding my misinterpretation. It is hard to get people’s intentions when you don’t know them and you are just reading words on a screen. I apologize again for misunderstanding.

This conversation has opened my eyes and showed me that people’s intentions are usually positive. That is one reason why I wanted to post my truth on tiny buddha instead of another site. I have read many people’s posts on here and everyone is usually very honest, positive, and forthcoming on their thoughts. They also give another view to things, which is what I like. Other sites you usually get trolls and mean people that just poke and humiliate you, which just doesn’t make any sense to me.

I am like you I think everyone is special and has their own purpose in the world. Judging other people about who they are just doesn’t make sense to me, especially when it comes to their race, religion, sexual orientation, and lifestyle. Everyone has their own hopes and dreams and we all need to support those no matter how big or small. I know some people where their dream is something simple, like have a meal every night, and some that are very big, like be a millionaire with a huge house. Very different life goals, but one is not better than the other.

I think that is what played into some of the problems of my relationship with this other woman. Her family is more financially stable than my family. Her husband has a very good salary and supports them, she works for him, but has plenty of time to do other things (mostly with her children). She is able to buy and do pretty much anything she wants. On the flip side I work full-time, have a fairly average salary, my husband stays home with our son and does freelance work when he can. We live a very simple life and have had a lot of financial struggles. In the past year and a half we have downsized our life dramatically. She was always giving me a hard time about my husband needing to find work and help support our family. She often called him lazy and that I need to tell him to get a job so that we could be more financially stable and be able to go on adventures and big trips. In her eyes this would make my life “easier” and I would be happier.

The way I see it is my husband has a job. He stays home with our son. Yes, our son is 11 and can stay home alone for short periods of time, but we don’t want that. Our son also has autism and having a parent pick him up from school every day and bring him home is beneficial for him. My husband is able to help him with his homework if he is struggling and give our son the routine he needs to be successful. It also is makes our son feel more secure when both parents are at home at night and we get to have some family time. It works for us and personally I like supporting our family.

My husband supported our family for a number of years when I stayed home. When he got laid off from his job, I was finishing up my college degree (I was an “untraditional” college student, going to college later in life). He tried to find work with no luck. Then when I graduated we decided that I would be the head of household and he would stay home and freelance. Yes, we had to downsize and have our struggles, but it works for us. She never understood this and would give me a hard time often about it. It was one of my first wake-up calls that she was trying to make me be someone that I am not.

Sorry, that turned into a longer reply than I was thinking it would be, but it shows a little bit more about my relationship with this other woman and why I probably reacted the way I did to your original post. Again, I apologize and thank you for being open and honest with me, as well as understanding. It has taught me another lesson. 🙂

• This reply was modified 10 years, 4 months ago by Heather.