@staranna – Thank you again for your response.

Yeah, my ex really put me through the ringer. I left out A LOT of info on the dynamics of our relationship. Let’s just say she used my insecurities against me and blamed me for everything that went wrong in our relationship. She dumped me 5 times (yes, 5!) but I kept coming back to her. After our relationship ended, I asked her (more than once) what she thought she did wrong after I told her what I thought I did wrong and she said her mistake was taking me back all those times.

But yes, her physical beauty is one of the things that drew me to her. I know substance is very important in a person too. I’ve also read that relationships where there is a lot of drama can be addicting. I think this is true.

Well, the thing about the dating sites is I’m not getting anywhere. This is my 3rd time on there (my last 2 GFs I met on dating sites) and this time around seems like it’s much harder for me to get a response. I have had several instances where I message a woman, she messages back, then I respond and then I never hear back from her. I’m wondering if some how my insecurities come out in my messages. I don’t think it’s my profile because I’ve had a few female friends review it and I’ve been offered suggestions on how I can improve it, which I did. So, I can’t even get any dates right now! 🙁

Oh yeah, I am trying my best not to stay at home all the time.

I’m slowly learning about how the subconscious affects my actions. The hard thing for me is to be able to control my thoughts and emotions. It’s more difficult than I thought it would be.

I try to look at the glass half full. The other issue for me is the seemingly obsessive thoughts of my ex. They seem to overpower my attempts to stay positive, present, and hopeful for the future. The other battle that I constantly fight is logic vs emotions. Logically, I have accepted and come to terms that the relationship is over, and has been over for some time. My emotions still haven’t accepted it yet and for some reason, my emotions often win.