hi Jen, First, heartfelt compassion and support to you across the miles.

Wow it’s a lot you’ve been through. I’m glad you reached out in the fashion you did, and at this point, my advice would be to just let it be. He’s been pretty clear that he needs space, and why. He’s not in a position to speculate about the future, and therefore, I don’t think you should either. He knows how you feel, and he talked about what you meant to him, mean to him, I think his feelings for you were real, however poorly timed.

Maybe the best thing you can do is just wait. Find a way to distract yourself – self nurture, do things that make you happy, build interest in a new hobby, volunteer for something somewhere, ANYTHING that take you outside of yourself and will help keep him off your mind to the point where you just are driving yourself nuts with the questions you mustn’t ask or push for right now, or you will get answers you don’t want to hear and he might not mean.

Try to put yourself in his shoes, in his head. The last thing that will help is to get pressure or ask for answers to questions about things he hasn’t figured out for himself yet, let alone express them to you.

You will have the answers eventually, but not today, not this week, maybe not this month. This situation is taking up ALL the room in your head and heart. Time to diversify if only for a while so YOU can get some space and perspective too.

Love is a good thing – just be patient. Pray and breath and take care of yourself. It will all turn out the way it is supposed to.

Peace to you,
Soj