Please, please don’t give her this letter the way it’s written. It feels like you’re dredging up past pain and trying to show her why she was wrong. If you’re getting married to her, I assume you two have had conversations about what happened, and hopefully both owned up to your parts in it. If you haven’t said what needs to be said, perhaps you should speak in person, before your wedding, so make sure there’s no resentment still hidden away. This letter seems very bitter and full of pain, and very blaming of her.

Before you start composing a ‘closure’ letter on the eve of your new life together, I’d suggest asking yourself: what do you want to accomplish? Do you want her to know that she was wrong to do what she did? Why? What would that solve?

Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?

I’m not saying you two shouldn’t talk about that time or that you shouldn’t share your thoughts with her, but this letter just seems to open the wound again. If you still have resentment about the past, perhaps you should wait to get married until you’ve worked through it as a couple. It certainly seems from this letter that you do.

At the very least, have a private conversation with her where you tell her you still have pain around what happened, rather than giving her a letter like this right before her wedding day.

Ask yourself: are you read to let go of the pain of that time, to embrace the joy of your new life together? Or will you always want to make her pay?

A letter on her wedding day should be about what you want to accomplish with your partnership, not dredging up something she did “wrong” in your estimation. Have you considered that that painful time and the time apart could have actually taught you both important lessons, and that it could actually strengthen your relationship if you reframe it?

Whatever you do, please don’t enter into this marriage feeling justified in believing she did you wrong back then. A marriage that starts out that way doesn’t have a very good chance of being a happy marriage, in my opinion.

Good luck to you both!