Wow…this was so powerful and brought tears to my eyes. I could feel your pain illustrated in this letter. I’m so sorry you felt so much hurt, devastation and resentment for so long,but now that you have written it all out, just store it away. This letter of closure is for you not her. No one ever deserves to feel like they hate their life so much they would rather commit suicide.I can see this older man truly affected BOTH of your self worthiness. You have to continue to remind yourself you did not choose what happened to you, and it was a dark place but it’s all over now. Her actions hurt you, but she was hurt in the process too. All of that pain is over. Your life is not that way anymore. Let yourself be happy, let her love you the way you need, let her heal your broken heart, let her know how much you missed her and how you thought of her every day and that she is your soulmate. You are going to marry your soul mate and allow yourself to enjoy what you have wanted and deserved for so long. Those prime years were not wasted,it was invested time where you learned about yourself, as did she. Let the two of you be happy and by reminding her of everything she did wrong will only keep YOU in that depression. Store those memories away and continue to replace them with loving thoughts. ALLOW those holes in you to be filled with happiness. Sometimes when you are sad for so long you forget how to be genuinely happy again. You love this woman and for that reason a lone let the past be the past, this letter is not for her. You will be very happy from now on.