Hey Jamie,
Sorry to hear about your struggles. Brad and Louise have some great suggestions. I can tell you that I too have and still do struggle with that from time to time but don’t lose hope, it goes away and when it does, even the thought of it is laughable…like you couldn’t imagine how you ever felt that way..but then it may come back in time, then go away etc etc..that’s life and the most important thing for you to do is to be unafraid of it. Allow it. Let it ride along side with you. It’s ok, life isn’t supposed to always make sense or be happy or sad or anything. Life just is and the most important thing is to remember that. It will get better, I promise you it will. Don’t get down on yourself, just do what you do but be mindful of everything. For example I love french fries but seldom eat them for health reasons but every now and again I’ll treat myself to some fries. I pay attention to how hot and salty and delicious they are…and when I sit there and say “man, I can’t get happy over anything but these fries are awesome” it’s like an “ah-ha!” moment. Hope that helps.

-G