Hi there! Been lurking around these forums for a long time now and this is the first time I’ve felt motivated enough to register and respond to anything.
You sound so much like me!! Just wondering how old you are…growing into and accepting ourselves is such a process. One that I think will probably last for the rest of my life. I just turned 30 and am only now realizing some of the things I have the power to change that have been holding me back for so long.
What stands out to me about you…you sound like a really awesome person. I think a lot of other people see that, and that’s why they’re drawn to you. Maybe you don’t see it so much though. It’s hard, but – you’ve just got to be your own best friend. Love yourself like no one else does. That awkwardness that you talk about? Start seeing it as an endearing quality that makes you unique.
About this guy you like…ugh, I hear ya. Sucks to have those rare feelings for someone and then realize that it’s not reciprocated so you’re just stuck with it. My advice…just do what feels good to you. Whether that involves him or not…if you want to hang with him, do so…just keep being yourself, and who knows what could happen. Who knows who you’ll meet in your life, who knows where it will take you, you know?
I guess the point of this…you are in good company with your introverted awkwardness! Just try to not be so hard on yourself, one minute at a time. Try to sit with your uncomfortable feelings, and just feel them and then let them pass.