louise, the reason I write here is that I want to find a compassion, be uderstood by someone and not to be treated in judgemental way. That’s why I talk about it here, not among people who would treat me just as you did, making me doubt myself even more.

What I see, is that some faulty thinking patterns are holding me back, and what I want to do is to break free from them, so I won’t stress out becouse of being temporary unemployed and I won’t need a girl to validate that I’m a lovable human being.

That’s what tinybuddha is for.