@catdancing Wow I’m so sorry you had to go through that for so long. That sounds so incredibly painful and I’m very happy to know you came out of it a survivor and are in a better place! Fantastic!

Looking back, what do you believe is the real reason your ex or “the destroyer” got involved with you during his separation? Do you believe it was real love at some point or simply because he enjoyed “triangulation”? (still trying to fully understand this concept) – Also, why do you think, or what reasons did your ex give you for falling apart after the divorce?

In my case, I pushed and pushed and pushed my man to hurry up and get the divorce, earlier than he had planned to (he wanted to take a year and wait until his wife was completely over him and not in an emotional state for the sake of their son as she’s irrational and irate when she’s emotional and scary to deal with) – He ended up getting the divorce 6 months into our relationship, after 1 week of A LOT of pushing on my part (because after seeing signs, I was extremely worried she was plotting to take their son away from him and saw a need for him to not wait until she was unemotional at this point)

I feel now, he did it to make me happy and relieve my worries and I think I got him panicked too that she was plotting, but the truth is, I knew all along he wanted to make it an amicable divorce and wanted to wait til she moved on and wasn’t emotional………. I know now that he really wasn’t ready or prepared the wrath of her and the aftermath, including the unexpected grieving and feelings of failure which he’s still currently dealing with and it ultimately caused a storm of emotions when she signed, not only inside of him but because she was furious and completely cut him off, which tore him apart because she refused to ever see him again, even for the sake of their son and he ultimately couldn’t believe he allowed it to end like that and his son became very affected by his parents no longer having a friendship…… (a month later she started coming around again of course but only because she tried to get him back again…….. but has now accepted it’s over)

Wondering if your ex went through a grieving stage as well or if you believe he was really just a manipulative, psychopathic type described in the triangulation articles I’ve read and did it for pure pleasure? (Its so hard to believe people do that!)

Thanks again for sharing all your wisdom based on your real life story – it is all so valuable to me. Bless your heart.