Katie,

Thanks for sharing your story. I think the whole American (which i am) concept of marriage is very much we-share-all-our-pain-and-joy, which may lead to expectations. I’m struggling with that right now, trying to come out the back side in a more enlightened state.

A lot of this will involve re-hashing my childhood, which while mostly joyful, has its influences that linger to this day.

peace…

@practicingpatience said:
Hi Todzilla,

I struggle with this too. Our situations are a lot different, but I have recently made the realization that my expectations are getting in the way of my happiness and ruining my relationships. So I am trying to release them as well. I’m sorry I don’t have any advice, but am grateful that you posted this because of the responses it’s prompting!

Matt – thank you so much for sharing your insights with us! I am frequently blown away by your perspective and I really can’t tell you how much you’ve helped me deal with my daily struggles in a much more peaceful and positive way. This topic in particular I am loving your responses to. I love your analogy of the King coming home to his Queen and not rehashing stories of the battle. BUT what I continue to struggle with (albeit less and less frequently!) is the worry that by not sharing things that are bothering me (little things that happen at work, etc) there is a distance that is created between me and my boyfriend. Like I’m not sharing my day with him, so this must be a bad thing. I think the more I just let myself be present and enjoy moments with him and not poop in his face, the more we BOTH enjoy each other and THIS is what strengthens our relationship, not the constant-sharing-of-shitty-moments-of-the-day. But, I am just curious about your perspective on this?