Hi Bunny,

I don’t think I totally agree with Inky.

It’s like ignoring the problem until she’s hold enough to slut around and get taken advantage of when she’s older, which to me sounds very counter productive?

I think it’s very very good that you spoke so openly about why its inappropriate to act like that with guys when she has a boyfriend, and that she understood that it was wrong and you have both established that she does it to make her feel better about herself.

For one you really can’t blame yourself at all. Millions of people suffer with lack of confidence or psychological illnesses, and of course it is evolutionary and natural that receiving attention and compliments from people of the other sex helps to make one feel better.

Undoubtedly a lot of the confidence and self worth problems would come from her jackass of a father (sorry for judging). I think it’d be very important for you both to speak to a councillor, or do some reading on self worth and dealing with these horrible and unwarranted emotions that have stemmed from matters outside of your control.

The more talking the better. Your daughter needs to understand that the issues and lack of commitment and effort on her fathers part has absolutely nothing to do with her, and it most certainly is not her fault. It’s a long and tricky road, but once she starts understand and truly believing that she isn’t to blame, than in fact she IS worth much more, things will slowly get better and she will content with her own affection and that of her boyfriend (if he’s still the picture).

Perhaps you could also mention it to her that if she spoke to her boyfriend and asked him to be understanding that she could do with some extra compliments etc, she doesn’t have to tell him what’s going on, just that she could really do with the support. If he is a decent lad he should help her out!

Hope this helps!