Dear Victoria,

The way you write your text, it sounds so clear to me, that you know what you want. You don’t want a relation at the moment, and you don’t feel you would be ready for it. Instead, you want to work on your own healing and get better and independent. For me that sounds wonderful, that you know you need to work on yourself and you’re not looking for somebody to ‘solve your problems for you’.

So i don’t understand why you feel that you need a relationship, if that is not what you want at the moment?
Is that only because of what those books say? Because in society it is the norm, to have a relation?
I would say, that the most important is to follow your own feeling. I personally don’t believe in standard ways for everybody. Focus on your own healing, and when you are ready for a relation, it will come.

with the background you are coming from, i’m wondering if you are having some help, like a therapist or something?
Good luck, believe in yourself and give yourself some time!