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Hi Helen,
Your post title really struck a chord with me in that I similarly had an extraordinarily difficult year – worst I have ever had. First, I hope you are physically feeling better. I kind of look at this physical accident as a (yes painful) opportunity for you to pause and put yourself first. Your ankle – meaning the part that grounds you to the earth (bare with my jargon) is needing attention – and I do believe aches and pains and circumstances do all happen for reasons. It sounds like you have been insecure with yourself and esteem, this ankle injury is here to re-direct your attention to yourself, your confidence, your self-compassion, and re-establish your foundation. By no means does this justify the pain or the complexities that are coming along with it – but just a time to take care of yourself and no one else. I hope that made sense. Guard your space, say no when you want, and allow yourself to identify the toxic parts in your life and say no to them. It took my a long time, still is, to see that I have the power to get space when I want – it is a true gift.
My year was tainted with two deaths in the family, care-taking for my ex boyfriends father (who died), the breakdown of our 3.5 year relationship, cutting off a lover from the past who I had thought I would end up with WHILE applying for law school and studying for my LSAT. Talk about concentration problems..
There are times when I am angry at god/universe/larger forces for causing this awful situation and hardships, especially when I am trying to pursue my lifelong dream, I am very very very slowly seeing that this may have been all a gift to push me to an edge of strength that I never had before. I sensed the universe’s presence in these circumstances and I hope at some point, you do too, because I can see it in how you describe your situation.
You don’t see it now but you have more strength in you that you don’t see – the fact that you reached out to Tiny Buddha shows how much you want to take care of yourself and are taking care of yourself – this actions will move you forward. Your finding ways to get help and appreciate yourself for doing that. Don’t give up hope – things will get better. Be patient with yourself and the process, this is all temporary.
- This reply was modified 10 years, 1 month ago by Joanne.