Hi Iwontshare
It will definitely get better if you try to change..I partly understand how you feel, as, believe me or not, I have been in a similar place as you. I believe if you try to surround yourself with a positive aura and increase your self esteem, it will get incredibly better. Trust me.
Do not underestimate yourself and think that you dont deserve some things. You deserve the best for yourself always. It doesn’t always mean that the negative thoughts are the truth.
You are letting the negative talker take control over you completely. Believe me, if you control the negative talker and have more faith and confidence in yourself, you will feel highly satisfied. Since you are here on tiny buddha, go through some of the blogs written. They are amazing and you will get help. There are beautifully written articles on how to get over depression, loving yourself, making your life better, etc. Please try once to check them out. I hope they come of help to you.
Dont even doubt yourself. If you keep doing it, it will never get better. Since you already think you have wasted so much time of your life, accept it and take it as a lesson that you dont want that to happen again and that you can control your life and turn it into an amazing one.
You deserve love, happiness and joy more than anyone. And let me tell you, i care about you already even though i dont know you. And its never too late.
I may have gone all inspirational and preach like but just think about it. Dont depend on others for approval and think highly of yourself. Your judgement matters more than anyone else’s. Please feel free to reply to this and speak to me.
Hope I could help you from this 🙂
Take care
Addi