You know, having your input has given me a new kind of perspective. I think I have two different people or personalities tugging me in two different directions. One is feeling sad about the state I’m in. I feel like I’ve only just started to learn about myself. I’ve only just discovered that my insecurities are a result of my own thinking. This side has a bit of anger and sadness towards my childhood. I feel bad that I spent the majority of my life afraid of people and their opinions of me. This side hasn’t quite let go of blame.

The other side of me is the compassionate one. I see how my family has suffered to overcome their own demons and I empathize. It makes me sad for them that they are living in an unhappy world. It also allows me to feel grateful for the opportunity to take a new path and I recognize that it is coming much earlier in my life than it has for others.

It’s strange to watch myself bounce back and forth between feelings and opinions. Clearly, the second is a more positive way to look at it. Maybe I’m being too hard on myself to believe I can let go of harsh feelings so easily. I do feel guilty that I can’t make everyone happy but I appreciate that you can relate to me. I would tell any friend to stay away from people who bring them down, including family. Somehow it’s hard to take our own advice.