Hi Tyler,

I’m wondering why there was a break up in the first place. If you provide some insights about the reasons you both had or the facts that lead you to it, maybe that will help us understand the situation a little better. For the time being I’ll make guesses and assumptions.

I have the impression you’ve became quite stressed before the break-up, due to the many other problems that happened in your life. Maybe you fought with your girlfriend because you hoped she would understand your situation and may be be less demanding or more helpful. Then the break-up occurred when she could not take it any more. She decided that she was better without you, or maybe that it was better to take the risk of suffering for the time being in the hope to find something better later. Maybe she even thought that she was good for you as well to stop relying on her. If she is giving you mixed signs, it means that somehow she left the door open for you. She is waiting for you to take back you life, be happy and less stressed and become once more a pleasant company to be with. However, I do not want to make your hopes hight, are those really mixed signs? Can you describe them? You may confuse yourself in the hope things are not over. There is also the possibility that she is genuinely appreciating you as a friend and actually see you are better somehow without her. Maybe she is just telling to herself that you are better without her so she won’t feel guilty. Maybe she is provoking you to see what your reaction is.

Anyway, do you really want back a girl that left you in your moment of need and broke your bound? Things are not going to be the same even if she is back. Do you really want a girl that stays with you only when things go all right? Do you really want to go back to her demanding request and everything else you had to do to make her happy? Do you want really to go back to unheard plea for help? She decided she can’t change: what she needs is what she needs, what she cannot do is what she cannot do. Are you ready to change for her so that things will work? Maybe she is hoping you will change. Thought notice that you said “But of course i WANTED her in my life.”, you used the past.
Maybe right now you don’t need her any more, but you need the care and support you hoped you had. Isn’t there any friend or family you can count on? I also understand that the care and love a girlfriend can show is not the same as the care and love a friend or family can show. Nevertheless, please, trust you can find that again into somebody else, who may also be a better fit for you (less demanding, more supporting): keep you eyes and heart open. If you really believe she was one and unique, well you know there is some work to do to win her back, she showed you she cannot give you more than that, so it’s up to you, will you develop enough strength and energies to make her feel better? Will you wait for the moment she actually realizes she may feel better with you indeed? Will you live your life alone, doing as much as possible, care for yourself and be happier just to win her back one day? Or is it maybe better to take life as it comes, improve and be happy for yourself, and maybe keep the doors open for someone else who may be a better fit for you right now or earlier?