I’m sorry you went through this. I chalk it up to immaturity on his part. This is what *could* have happened, the scenario which makes the most sense.

So he’s in college/the Merchant Navy, a young guy. He sees all the other guys with young girlfriends. He has someone our age (no offence!! 40 but looks 30). He is congratulated for having an older woman. But being away/starting something new/seeing new people ~ something “snapped”. Again, immaturity.

He starts seeing casually a young girl who’s been eyeing him for a while. She herself may have changed his FB status, “outing” him so soon after the break up. Or, he felt pressure from her to change his status. You call him on it, thus embarrassing him. Then you (rightfully) say, “I’d like to have my car back”, thus giving him a reality check.

I think he got nasty/unfriended you because the new girlfriend broke up with him, he failed his exam, he wreaked the car AND you want it back. Then you write him, “Glad you’re OK”. Once again, he snapped. His best laid quarter-life crisis plans bombed.

The car ~ I would tell his MOTHER that you are picking it up from HER and leave the keys under the tire. Leave him alone. You were there for him for a Season. Maybe for a Reason. But honestly, I wouldn’t see him.

20 years difference COULD work for an older guy, younger girl, but it is usually (eventually) a disaster the other way around. I would find a mature, older man. There are plenty, as you know, in the sailing community. I think you’ll have a better time. May the wind fill your sails! 🙂