Hi Ladybird,

A very eloquent post! Thank you for sharing.

With regard to your attitude, both your attitudes are valid because they are your own realities right now, or at least what you perceive them to be. Neither attitude is right or wrong, they just ARE. That could be your starting point.

Let’s face it, life is hard at times and relationships especially. You seem to both have different value and belief systems and this is what is driving your thoughts and perceptions.

You are both very young and do indeed have plenty of time, in my opinion. There is a saying about your 20’s is like getting ready for the party, your 30’s is all about buying the drinks, and your 40’s is about picking up the tab! Think about that.

What’s the party you both want to go to? For you, it seems you live in the present more frequently, which is absolutely fine. The present is the only place we know, the only place we have control of and the only place we live. The past is gone, the future largely unknown.

Take everything off the table – apart from your relationship. What actually is it? How does it work? Does it work? How did you get together? Whats your relationship with yourselves (and that applies to both you)? What do you want out of life? What are your values and what can’t you compromise on? What can you let go of? What can’t you let go of?

These are just some questions you can ask yourselves and each other. Try to talk it through in a calm, considered way. And last of all, what’s the rush?

Good luck! I hope this helps.

Matt.