Dear Sultana
I can really relate to your post, as I am 45 and just broken up with my partner, moving to a new place and having to pay a mortgage on my own. I don’t think it is my place to advise you on what decision you could make here about the holiday, and I get how you want a partner in your life, as I also love being in relationship – but a good and nourishing one would work for me now I think!!
I just want to share that I find for me it isn’t helpful to compare myself and my situation to others. When I do this, I get myself really down. The truth of the matter is that not everyone with a partner is necessarily happy, and not everyone who appears to have money are well off financially – they could be in huge debt and just playing the game of looking well off to others.
I also am resolved this time around not to look to others for my financial security – I think if I do this, and at some level I have done this in the past, I set myself up for failure. It is also giving my power away to someone else, who may or may not have my best interests at heart. This Christmas is really tough for me and my kids, not much money in the bank to afford presents – but hey, it is just stuff any way and we have each other. It is more important to me to be honest with myself financially – this is where I am at, this is where I want to be, and these are the steps I am taking to get there – not waiting for others to do it for me.
Just thought I would share what works for me – I don’t really know your situation, but wish you well whatever you decide!