Hi Steve!

Massive ego boost for women? No way. Unfortunately, I think any sensitive person (m or f) who is looking for something real is going to have a hard time with online dating. I had some luck with a go-round a few months ago, tried it again a week ago and had to deactivate my profile within a couple days because it was just too depressing and I have too much to grow on before I’m ready for it. Personally, I’ve had to confront the fact that I actually do seem to be drawn to the guys that need some kind of fixing. Guys that are unavailable for one reason or another, even if it’s not readily apparent. I’m still trying to figure out the reason for this, but I am hopeful because I am actually figuring out what the problem is. 🙂

While I wouldn’t say most women go for men with issues, I would say a lot do. For me, I have started tracing this back to patterns with my mom. She’s bi-polar. So lots of emotional ups and downs. All the time. So in some way, I think I have started equating emotional waves and tumultuousness with connection, love and passion. And emotional stability and steadiness with boring/not-connecting/not getting me, etc.

I don’t know what the deal is with the women you’ve contacted, but I would urge you to remain sure of the fact that it is not YOU, it’s THEM. While I’m sure this doesn’t do much to lessen the frustration of it, I think you should remain hopeful that you will find the right person for you when the time is right. Being 100% single for the first time in 10 years freaks me out a little. But when I’m not having my moments of panic (“ahhhh I’m going to be alone FOREVER.”), I can see that this single time right now is really what I need to in order to be able to attract and maintain a truly healthy relationship when the time comes (hopefully sooner than later).