Woah, there, lovely

You didn’t give it up because you let other people put doubts in your head. You stayed with your family because you didn’t want to leave them after going through such a loss. The rest was a combination of push and pull. You’ve lost faith in yourself, and that’s understandable, given the sense of loss you have right now. Also, some of the loss you feel about your grandfather may be projected onto the end of this relationship.

Be gentle with yourself