Hello Gonegirl,
We all have patterns in relationships and sabotaging connections with potential partners is very common. It has to do with our early attachment (anxious or secure) and the attachment we had with our caregivers ends up getting repeated in romantic pursuits. No exceptions. and you are not alone. Expectation gets a bad rap. To me, expectations are needs that are communicated poorly it misunderstood. We don’t voice them because our inner child assumes that she/he would be too much (just like she did when she was a kid) or that she doesn’t deserve to have it. I recently published a post here on TB on finding your ideal partner (http://tinybuddha.com/blog/key-finding-ideal-partner-life/) and I think it might benefit you in attracting the right partner. Don’t give up and make it a sob story but a collection of experiences that helped you understand your patterns. You can work through this!
Warmly,
Banu