I am so sorry to hear the condition you are in dear. If there is something I must say is the phrase “you can’t love someone unless they love theirself” is bogus. I guess he meant “you can’t love someone if you don’t love yourself.” Which is a phrase I accept as true. It is not a good idea to enter a relationship if you don’t feel utter acceptance and love for yourself. You have to learn to love yourself despite your flaws. When you can do this, than you can seek out romantic relationships. I am sure you are a beautiful person and know this. If he loves you he will encourage you to seek the beauty in yourself. If he loves you he won’t expect you to change so HE can be happy. He obviously is not ready for a relationship because he’s not staying faithful and committing fully to you. If he were me, the only reason why I would want you to change is because you will suffer if you don’t, not because your current condition makes me unhappy. Love is unconditional. It is probably for the best to split with him and learn to value yourself before finding someone to share in it with you. 🙂