Jan, expectations are everything and it can be very difficult to fix a broken relationship while living in it. This is why I said often times its easier for couples to part ways. You both need love, affection, intimacy, sex. Timing it so that both of you get it at the same time is challenging though. In addition, there is a lot of “faking it” until you make it, and most of the faking will probably need to be by you.
You mention that you want to be happy and move forward with your life but your relationship is keeping you in limbo. It sounds like you’d rather have a future apart from your husband which is OK and understandable. A child is not a chain…