It is very difficult to be in love with someone who is struggling with demons such as alcoholism. And his disease is going to cause any tendency towards manipulation to be that much worse. If he doesn’t want to work on his own issues, you can’t force him to with meditation programs or even AA or treatment for his addiction. In this case, you may have to separate yourself from him. It doesn’t mean you don’t love and care for him, it means that you love and care for yourself enough not to get pulled down with him.. And in some cases, having a love one draw a line in the sand it the catalyst for getting someone to get the help they need and makes changes.

Best of luck to you.