Hello Sunflower
I just kind of fell into this site by chance today. At random I entered a few words in Google and in the list of choices was this Tiny Buddah site. Clicked it, read a bit and became a member in the forums. I don’t do this kind of thing, ever actually.
This isn’t to say I don’t have my share of personal tragedies. I have had several which include the love of my life dying suddenly and leaving me and our 2 small children, to recently this past year losing my second wife of 5 years, this time due to not healing from my first loss.
That being said, I know what loss, despair and anger are. I felt a lot of the things and still to this day feel the things you are afraid of, the fear.
Maybe the fact that your post is the first I have read here is what compelled me to comment. Every random coincidence happens for a perfectly good reason I always say. Maybe something I say can help, maybe not.
Because I don’t know you, or know your circumstances I think the best way to relate is by comparing yours fears to the same that I had, and still have. I hope I don’t ramble on about myself, I’ll try not to.

I feel a bit frozen. What is difficult is that I know we both love and want one another. I know he wants it to work too, but is dealing with these big issues that he cannot bear.
I have said the same thing, and I have actually believed it, but what does this mean ? We both love each other but….why is there a “but” always in these statements? What is stronger than ones love for another person? What “but” has overridden love? Maybe. – like I have realized, he/ she does love you, just not enough to overcome these “buts”.
Of course this is what I tell myself, and it makes perfectly good sense, even though it really sucks.

<Because I feel that I can clearly see a path and how we are great
Yes same here, we are great together and we could have been awesome if only…. if only we would have done things differently in the past.
Why doesn’t he/ she see this like I do ? How can they not get it. Don’t they remember the happy amazing times we have had? Don’t they know every day could be this way if we just stop, take a deep breath and start fresh? We can learn from our mistakes.
I wish it worked, but I feel like it won’t, for the same reason they gave up originally. They don’t have it in them to want it as much as we do. Not with us, probably not with anyone who they get to this level with. They can’t.

The night before my divorce after a year long separation with “V” she called me crying about what was about to happen the next morning at the courthouse downtown. It was actually a video call. She played songs which she said were ours and cried from one to the next. This, after not communicating for 8 months.
The next morning we got divorced like nothing ever happened.
Yes that was love, she loved me very very much. Just not enough to overcome her own fears. And there was nothing I could do.
My best advice to you is to put yourself first. You sound like a very good caring person and you deserve to find true happiness and share it with someone who can accept it and in turn share theirs with you. He is out there, he’s waiting for you to find him.

I hope a word or two has made you feel better or realized something that maybe you didn’t. I hope the best for you.

RJ