Wow! I applaud your honesty and courage to post your story! You sound like such a strong woman .. I wish I’d been as strong. I’m another one of those women who stayed with a guy that was abusive and manipulative. I didn’t do it for a little while – no – I’ve been married for 35 years to this person. I raised 4 daughters, worked to support the family (he hasn’t supported the family in years and years) and put up with his crazy-making behaviour for all those years. I suspect he has mental health issues and sometimes I feel guilty, but honestly, I’ve done my best. I’ve tried to help him. I’ve kept this family going when he wouldn’t. Sometimes I think I’m the crazy one. How can I feel guilty for not fixing this relationship when I’m the only one doing all the work. Anyway .. we’re separated now, but living in the same house. How crazy is that? I feel stuck, paralyzed actually. I don’t know why. I’m a professional. I’m educated. But I’m paralyzed.

Thank the universe for giving you an opportunity to detach from that sick relationship. You seem to be gaining insight into why you end up with the same type of guy. So keep on working on yourself. Really .. at the end of the day .. I think the relationship we have with ourselves is the most important relationship of all. Only after we fix ourselves can we hope to have a healthy relationship with someone else. At least that’s the conclusion I’ve come to. Don’t even waste another minute thinking of what could’ve been with that guy. He’s a loser and doesn’t deserve a courageous, kind-hearted, loving woman like you.

Sending you a great big hug and lots of love, my sister.