Hi Omion,

Your boyfriend is under a phenomenal amount of stress right now. In addition, he may have to raise two little ones! My DH’s mother is dying and our life has virtually stopped for the past year. This is my MIL’s time now. That’s the way you should look at it. It’s the brother’s time now.

If you do the slow fade he may not even notice. But if you stick with him for this tough life crisis, he might realize that you are solid. Now, if the brother dies and he still ignores you, then he’s not the one anyway. Also, if he inherits the kids, you don’t need to be a surrogate mom! Then you really won’t be able to spend time with him! And by the way, for any other crisis he will be this way. Unless you yourself are in a crisis. Then he’d give you %100!

It would seem pretty crappy if you broke up with him now, especially if you say, “You don’t pay enough attention to me” while the brother’s lying on his deathbed. He’d be relieved that there’s one less distraction or devastated. I myself would do the slow fade and be with him as a friend. Let him contact me. If more than a few weeks go by I would move on.

• This reply was modified 9 years, 10 months ago by Inky.