Hello,

Thank you for your honest and heartfelt question.

When I was a freshman in high school, I thought I had met the love of my life. We spent practically every day together for four years. Over time, It became the kind of relationship where we had the same friend group, did the same activities, went on vacations with our family together, and simply coexisted in harmony.

As time went by, I discovered that he had been cheating a year and a half into our relationship. I still stayed with him for another year and a half. That time was full of self-destructive behaviors, manipulation, vengeance, and cheating on my part to get back at him.

Looking back, after his unfaithfulness, I saw that we were no longer truly in love, we were just staying with each other out of convenience. The time I put into the relationship was so intense, that I preferred to stay with him while deteriorating instead of letting go something I worked so hard for.

Our relationship ended on October 25th, 2013: my 18th birthday. He left me for one of his hookups that left him shortly after. I was no one without him, or so I thought. I had spent so much time with him that I did not have my own identity. My mindset at the time was so pessimistic and destroyed that it led me to attempt suicide. I was unsuccessful due to the intervention of my mother, but that was my rock bottom.

I left the country for the next three months. I traveled to South America and found myself through the journey. By being away from the situation, I was able to not only remove my ex from my life, but to also be away from the individuals who knew and were involved that caused my stress. I began the process of recovery.

It is not going to be easy, it hurts to be left by someone who you thought loved you. But no one who truly loves you would harm and disrespect you like your partner did. A partnership is about growth; encouraging each other to be the best individuals you can be. So while you may still know his number by heart 6 months after talking to him, cut him off, let him be. People come into and out of your life for a reason: they either help you grow as a person, or harm you and teach you a lesson, which will better prepare you for life in the future by familiarizing you with that kind of situation.

My best advice? do you. Find things that you love, do hobbies you have always found interesting and enjoy. The pain in your heart may seem like a fatal wound at the moment, but in ten, twenty, sixty years you’ll look back and laugh. Heartbreak makes you grow as a person, how you choose to view and grow from the situation is completely up to you.

Stay strong!

~Niko