Hi Dinosaurcharlie,

First of all – oof…what a blow to the heart. It’s tough to embed a portion of your happiness in trusting someone only to have them sort of yank the rug out from under you. The bottom line is that it will either work or it wont and only 50% of it is up to you. Do the work you feel compelled to do to fight for your relationship, by all means, but also be aware that it may not be the right time for him. You can be beautiful, loving, expansive, generous and patient and, regardless of what he chooses to do in the end, you will be better for your efforts.

If there’s anything I’ve learned in my life it is that we cannot force other people to be where we are. We cannot force other people into the relationships we believe they are capable of having.

If I may recommend some reading…go find “This is Not the Story you Think it is: A season of unlikely happiness”. My dear friend Laura wrote this book about a very similar period of uncertainty in her marriage (Husband of 20+ years comes home one day and tells her he doesn’t love her anymore) and how she learned to cope with it by creating beauty, caring for herself and trying her best to detach from the outcome.

All my best to you, friend. Please keep us posted.

Ashley