Dear Mark

I lost you there with the jungian terminology.
I believe you mean by shadow yourself and by anima the otherself, your soulmate, or less romantically put, the other human being you wish to connect with.

It is a good thing you confronted your shadow. But what was the aftermath of the confrontation. You say you lack the confidence and self esteem you wish for yourself. What did you gain by standing up to your shadow? Optimism? Optimism is a feeling we have that a situation we are involved with that doesn’t fulfill us will pass and a better situation will take it’s place. If i understand you have trouble accepting your physical image right now and have gained the optimism that you will change it. While it is good to feel healthy, ask yourself if you are changing your appearance towards a goal that it is not yours but a goal that this girl wishes for her boyfriend.

Above all you must accept yourself for what you are, not only what you aspire to be. Because you are unique.

So should you talk to her now or three months later? Insecurity is a durable feeling.
You may have six-pack abs and still feel insecure. I think acceptance is the key word.
Accept yourself. It is a proccess that takes time.
That way you will care less if someone rejects you because the most important person in the world, you, will have accepted himself.
Maybe they really hurt you, whoever rejected you in the past. But they were wrong. You deserve to be loved. Find people you don’t have to try to be accepted. We shouldn’t try too hard for these things! All it takes to be accepted is to smile and know a good joke or two!

“Those who mind, don’t matter and those who matter, don’t mind” said Dr. Seuss. And his right!
Hope this helped

Take care
George

• This reply was modified 9 years, 9 months ago by George.