Hi I read about your situation and could immediately connect with mine. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me 3 months ago. We also had a long-distance relationship, and everything was getting hard towards the end and she told me she could not do it anymore. Ever since I have been thinking about her every moment of everyday, at first the pain was unbearable but it gets better after 2-3 months. I am telling you this to let you know that you are not alone, and what’s most important is please take care of your health and DO NOT do anything that you might regret later (e.g: new fling, new relationship, become alcoholic, etc) just to have a feeling of moving on. A lot of people do that kind of things and trust me it does not help you becoming a better/more confident person at the end of the day.

I know the emotions can be overwhelming (you might not believe it especially from a guy, but trust me I have been feeling emotions so intense I could hardly function in any other aspect of my life, and imagine guys are normally socially expected not to cry/show emotions, so most of the time I had to hide the turmoil I had inside) but for you perhaps spending more time with close friends and family members, telling them your thoughts would temporarily help.

After a while, you will have moments when emotions subside and you can actually have some serious, objective thoughts about yourself, about him and about the relationship. If objectively you seriously think that he was a good guy, doesn’t lie or cheat and actually cared about you, then although he could have done something that contributed to the break up as well, you have to objectively admit that you also did things that you shouldn’t have done, but that doesn’t mean that there’s no chance of you guys getting back together. Because I discovered myself that true love is not just feelings but about patience, being kind and forgiveness, if you really think that you can sincerely say sorry about your lies to him and think that he has the capacity to forgive, why not give it a chance instead of letting a good guy slip out of your hand?

Now there’s a chance that he might have moved on/with another girl, and you have to face that possiblility too, but from a guy’s perspective I think if he is mature enough and actually care about you he wouldn’t move on so fast, he might be just very disappointed in what happened (I myself have been single for 3 months and actually still have very strong feelings for my ex, so I don’t want to hurt somebody else by trying to be in relationship just to “move on”). If he moved on you have to respect his decision, but never assume so until you know for sure. But if he hasn’t moved on and you want to get back with him, make sure to be sincere in your intention to build up trust TOGETHER AGAIN and not to expect that he would be making you happy all the time.

Lastly I think that a lot of time people say you have to be happy being single in order to be happy with somebody else, but that’s not the reason why you have to break up with a good partner just to see how happy you can be being single. I think we as humans has a natural desire to feel deeply connected with someone, so don’t think that if you are constantly thinking of someone that means you are too dependent on the person and you are desperate. You are just normal like everyone else. You might still need to learn how to change from the mindset of expecting someone to bring you happiness to learning how you can work together with someone to create and maintain happiness in a relationship (I am reflecting and learning that as well). Afterall humans can of course survive after heartbreaks and being single, but I don’t think I can truly LIVE if I don’t take the risks of being with someone and discover together what true love means.