Being 5’1 is the worst thing that ever happened to anyone. You’re right, fat guys have no right to complain because losing weight is easy. 18 years old is by the way the perfect time to determine whether you will be Forever Alone, because you have all the life experience you will ever need and you also know exactly what 99.99% of women look for in a man, knowing all that you need to know about women. At 18.

There is definitely nothing you can do to improve your attitude or your personality, especially because being Forever Alone is the curse of Forever Misery. No one has ever been single and happy. No short men have ever not been single forever. No one has ever been severely mistaken about the nature of life, the universe and all the rest when they were 18.

Man, I wish I had some advice to give you, but there’s just Nothing You Can Do! Sucks, bro!

PS: Those pills are definitely a scam.
PPS: My boyfriend is a fat man and I fucking love it. Of course, that’s impossible because fat=unattractive (just like short=unattractive) and everyone knows women aren’t attracted to unattractive men. Like, obvs. Tautological statements are tautological. Clearly me and my boyfriend don’t exist.
PPPS: Events with a 0.01% chance of happening happen every damn second. Not that your statistics aren’t hilariously messed up, but even if they weren’t. Every damn second.