Hey Brigid… I was pondering over for few days what you wrote. Love, relationship…this whole thing has become illusive for me. I feel unlucky in this matter..

Don’t know why but I got in touch with him few days back. He has lost his job..so thats the reason he is stating for not moving ahead. But, if I ponder over past few years.. he has always stated reasons for not getting married.. His drinks..family problems.. there were always reasons. And now, even if he gets a job, whether he would want to work it out..I don’t know. I can’t even wait.. but I also feel terrible love for him.. I am not able to decide what to do. I can’t hold on because I am already past the age..here its a big deal you know.. and not even able to stop loving..