Hi Heidi,
Sorry, I’m not a guy but I’ve been around the block a few times. I’m sure that I’m old enough to be your mother.

Honey, honey, please. I am very concerned about some things that Ryan said.

But all in all, though she is far from what my ideal candidate would be, and very hot headed and stubborn at times, she really is good for me. (Ryan)
* She is not on my intellectual level and you are

Your future husband is telling another woman (that he’s been in a “complicated” relationship with—eyes rolling) that:

1. you are not his ideal candididate
2. that you are not at his intellectual level.

The woman that he’s confiding in, in private (he thinks) IS his intellectual match.

AND he’s traveling alone with her for three weeks?

Look, I don’t know you or him, but just reading those words from strangers was like a knife in my heart.

I agree. There doesn’t need to be any drama. I don’t think there even needs to be any discussion.

If I was in your shoes, I would break off the engagement. No argument. No drama. No tears. (yes, of course, you’ll cry.)

He wants you because you’re good for him.

You’re good for him? Good for what? Certainly not intellectual banter. ewww… I can’t even begin to imagine how horrible you must be feeling. What a jerk!

I’ve been on many forums and only happen to be here because a friend of mine has a guest post. The word infidelity caught my eye. I finally left my wasband 2.5 years ago and am grateful I worked up the strength to do so. You can’t change people.

The only one you can change is you.

Something else I’ve learned over the years is that when someone comes out with an SOS like this, they already know the answer. They just aren’t ready to face it.

I’m so sorry Heidi, but I think this guy is bad news. He sounds selfish and abusive. Emotionally abusive.

Please take care of your heart and soul. I am wishing you much strength during this difficult time. I promise you, however, that it will get better. In time, it will.

xo,

Lexie