This Saturday I’m going out to see my son at his own house, my ex’s house (where they live with her mum). It will be the first time I’ve ever been there.

I’m cool with it. I’m not worried or bothered or anything. My ex said she won’t be there but her mum will. I think she doesn’t want to be there at the beginning & that maybe after a while when we see how the visits go she’ll start staying there as I’m visiting.

The only thing I’m expecting is to see my son for a few hours in his own little territory & have fun with him. I’m having a slide delivered for him next month that me & him will build together on a Saturday I visit.

She said her dad usually visits on Saturday so he may turn up (I’ve never met him but I don’t give a crap about him. Not that there will be any animosity). The only thing that would bother me, which I’m sure she knows, is if someone who was in the role of her boyfriend ever turned up, or even any exes. I would be boiling inside & wouldn’t want to be civil to them. I haven’t brought this up to her, I’ve thought about it but I didn’t yet. I’m not sure she even has a boyfriend I’m just picturing the scenario if it were to happen.

Let’s see how it goes.

NOTE: I’ve done really well with the forgiving of her. Up until the turn of the year it was a regular boiling rage inside & now it is not so much. In fact only very briefly I think about it for a minute or 2 then forget about it again. Deep down it’ll probably always be there but I’m doing well in not allowing it to control my emotions any more.