Thank you so much, everyone!!! I will go back here again and again as needed!!

What helped me with the Shame Ball at the time was a Focus Wheel exercise. So at twelve o’ clock is the best feeling/thought in the world, and at one o’ clock is the worst feeling/thought or what you’re feeling now. So if I write “I feel like I’m drowning in a shame ball” the next thought at two o’ clock might be “With time, I’ll crawl through the shame ball.”

At the time, the best thought I had was, “I now remember my Grampy was great, and no one was/is like him. So why be disappointed with disappointing “parental/authority” figures? He was irreplaceable and I was the jewel in his crown”. I had that feeling of “AAAHHH”! which kind of held me together

So, strategies:

1. If I don’t go to any event, ever again, it is TOTALLY understandable, and a healthy person would TOTALLY feel and act reserved going forward with this group.

2. Go to an event and test the waters. See how it is. Perhaps overwrite old experiences with new, better experiences and new friends. Perhaps go with somebody for support.

3. Find another group. (Would be awkward as would have to go one or two towns over and there would probably be questioning as I don’t live there. But, possible!)