Don’t be too hard on yourself, sister. It’s not your fault you got pregnant, you were acting in line with the medical advice you received, and it turned out to be wrong. Under the circumstances, I think it’s perfectly reasonable and understandable that you want an abortion. It certainly is scary, and I hope the medical staff will be understanding and helpful, and you don’t live in a place where ideologues are going to try to guilt or scare you into having a baby you don’t want.

Maybe at some point in the unknowable future you will want to become pregnant and it won’t work out. I hope that if that future occurs, you can look back at this time and think, “I took the best decision that I could at that time. It was not the right time to have a baby, and you can’t have babies just to put on the shelf in case you want them later. As heartbroken as I am now that I can’t get pregnant, I understand and support the choice my former self made.”

I wish you strength and all good things. This is a shitty thing to have happened to you, and the blame is not on you. If people try to put it on you, you can just be like: no thank you. Good luck.