Thanks everyone,

Everything that all of you are saying makes sense. Most of it is just good old common sense, that for some reason people forget, when things become overwhelming. I am trying to do the best I can with dealing with everything. I want things to improve and I have tried so many times to get to a better place. Sometimes, it is difficult to not have a defeatist attitude when you are pushed back down again and again when you are trying to get up. This isn’t the attitude I want. I always use to see a silver lining when things were tough before. Maybe because I had someone to lean on most of my adult life, it was easy to be that way. I’m not sure that I believe that because I was like that before I was with my ex too.

Jesuanreis, I know I gave this situation power. I was in a place of weakness for so long that I am finding it difficult to come from another place. People will say you can chose, and I know you can, but for a year before my marriage ended and after, my self esteem took a massive beating. It has just been a long road back from it all.

Since I first posted this, I have been spending a lot more time on my guitar. It has helped me focus on something else besides my problems. Also, I need to sleep more and get some more exercise. Thanks again everyone. I will just keep trying to change a little everyday.

Oh yeah, good Clint Eastwood quote The Thinker. That was a great movie.