Dear Nicole:
There is no doubt in my mind that the man you are describing, your ex bf is a mean, abusive man. No matter what glorifying words he uses to describe his new gf- I would absolutely, 100% NOT want to be that new gf, and would run like hell. I wouldn’t wait, if I was his new gf, to see if it will be different for me, whether he will make an exception for me and behave lovingly toward me-I WILL run like hell. So, yes, I believe with all confidence that you are indeed you, Nicole, are absolutely RIGHT about him being abusive, being a jerk, being unappy (outside the temporary pleasure he gets from being mean!)

Having stated that, I also believe that you are NOT “simply recovering from a bad breakup”- I am confident about that as well. The complex ptsd I suggested is not an accepted psychiatric diagnosis. It is a suggested diagnosis that if accepted it wouold replace most of the current diagnoses because it is not about symptoms, about any deficiency you were born with- it is about not getting your needs met as a child and how you reacted to that, forming defenses that were useful then but are harmful now. It may help you to read about it- and it may not.

Regarding your therapy, I wonder how long you’ve been seeing the same therapist and what are the skills she taught you? How has she been helpful on the long run? Are you different now than you were when you first started seeing her?

I am sorry you are going through this difficult.. life as you had. I hope you do heal with the right therapist, over time…

Take care:
anita