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Hi,
I have been going through the same thing. I was completely in love with a girl for 10 months, then 3 months ago she broke up with me for various reasons which all made me feel awful- wants to be single, going abroad, she couldn’t handle the arguements, she didn’t want to go on adventures anymore. It’s completely destroyed my self esteem and I now cry most days, which I can’t tell anyone about as they all tell me to simply ‘get over it’. It hurts so so much and I’m scared that I’m living in the past too much wondering if I could change anything.
She says she doesn’t love me anymore and now I just keep reliving everything and worrying constantly that I’ll never be good enough or worthy of another passionate love as I had once.
This part you said “It’s not that I didn’t like myself as a kid it was the problem of being extremely shy. Through high school I really found myself as a leader/someone that could make other smile. I like to joke around a lot. Seeing other people happy makes me happy. So I guess when I had to receive the news from her that I wasn’t making her happy I was completely crushed.
I like to be the one people depend on for some reason.
As far as the burden goes…she probably felt that I needed her too much, but it was only because I figured that she should reciprocate the same amount of love I was showing her, which she wasn’t”, this rings true to me as I did the same so having her turn around and say she couldn’t be with me anymore makes me feel so lost.
I just don’t know what to do.