Dear Anyone:
Glad to see your pluses/ minuses work! The pluses you mentioned: change from regular schedule, exploring new things. These two make sense, a need for excitement, for something different, something new after (2?) years of same-old-same-old schedule and a heart break of a relationship ending before that. No wonder you want something new, something different. Also pluses: care, attention, sexual needs met. These also make sense: who does not want care, attention and again, excitement, physical excitement, stimulation. You also mention above the pluses/ minuses that you do not want to invest emotionally or share a roof, which I believe are also pluses for you.

As far as minuses you mention that he asked you if you love him- which conflicts with the plus of NOT wanting to invest emotionally. And you mention him dating other women if he doesn’t make it clear (that he is dating others).

Now I am looking at this and thinking where to go with this (I have nothing planned)…your needs and hopes for this relationship make sense to me and are understandable. You not being ready or willing to go through the heartaches, I assume you went through in the serious relationship which ended two years ago also makes sense to me.

Having thought about it, I cannot come up with a reason why you shouldn’t explore this, experiment with it and see if indeed it is providing you with the positives you are hoping for, positives that are valid, understandable needs. It may work for you temporarily (which is what you want, temprarily) and it may turn out not so great for you- although you intend to cut it off with no problems if it doesn’t turn well.

I have nothing- absolutely nothing to contribute to the dilemma other than the social responsibility aspect, that is how it may affect other people, particularly the innocent children. Thoughts about that?

anita