Dear Danielle:
It seems to me that for as long he was afraid of loving you, for as long as he took you on the rollercoaster ride you were relatively safe- safe from the relationship being the committed type. Once his fear has settled, you are in danger. So you focus on the past now because you are afraid. Afraid of what a loving, committed, official relationship means or may mean to you: rejection? betrayal? self denial? I don’t know. If you agree that indeed you are now the scared one, what is it that is scaring you? Looking at your past, as far back as childhood… what scares you about this attachment you have with your bf?

Am I correct when I state the following: Part of you will continue to try to push him away. That part of you was relatively comfortable when he was (on and) off again. Now that part is trying to push him away and it will succeed unless the bigger part of you continues to heal. This relationship with this guy may be your best opportunity to heal. These kinds of attachment wounds can only be healed in the context of a healthy, safe attachment, as you have with this bf…? Be open and vulenrable to him, let him help you as you have helped him, and continue to help him. Treasure this relationship as it is your opportunity to love and be loved in return…?
anita