Dear Kat:
This is what you wrote that HE told you at different times:
During the recent fight: “He admitted to me that in the 4 years we’ve been together he’s never been sexual attracted to me.”
As the recent fight progressed and you were about to call it quit: “he told me he does find me sexually attractive, that simply talking about it was enough to make him find me attractive.”
After the fight(?) “he said I am not his type sexually…He explained that the lack of sexual attraction was part of the reason we didn’t have sex as often as I would have like…He told me our sex life was better by far than his previous relationships in terms of it’s intimacy and our eagerness to please each other, yet he couldn’t understand why he wasn’t as attracted to me as some of his previous girlfriends.”

It seems to me that during the fight he said he has NEVER found you sexually attractive for the purpose of hurting you. He was angry (it was a fight) and he tried to hurt you.

Then when he felt fear that you were ending the relationship he softened his assertion so to not lose you.

Regarding him explaining that the reason he didn’t have more sex with you- as you would have liked- is because of his lack of sexual attraction to you may be his efforts to explain away his feelings of sexual inadequacy (not having sex as often as would be adequate, feeling criticized by you for not having sex often enough… feeling not man enough to have sex as often as the gf wants)
The problem i am seeing here is that he tried and succeeded at hurting you. I wonder what was the context of his hurtful words? Did you attack him with insults? Did you attack his sexual abilities?

anita